Reasons you are being criticised

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Let me tell you about those "skillful/ perfect" people, tiny ones that dare criticizing others. Being criticized is good because it meant you have stood up for something.


Criticism can be a way of asserting power and social control, or of neutralizing competition, but it can also be a way of communicating a genuine grievance or speaking up for oneself, even if unskillfully. Not all experiences and situations are the same, and becoming emotionally intelligent means understanding the subtler nuances and context so you can respond mindfully and skillfully.

So, let's see how do these people think and behave towards you.

    1) They are threatened by your competence, attractiveness, etc. so they are trying to level the playing field.
    2) They have a concern about your motivation, skill level, performance or contribution.
    3) They feel you are not doing your share of the work or being a team player.
    4) They have a strong unmet need that is not being satisfied.
    5) They have a controlling personality and have to be in charge.
    6) They feel entitled to special treatment or status and do not feel they are receiving it.
    7) They want to make you look bad so as to advance their own position or curry favor with the bosses, etc.
    8) They feel insecure and are overcompensating.
    9) They think you are making them look bad in front of others.
    10) They feel criticized by you and are counter-attacking.
    11) They think they are genuinely helping you by giving you the benefit of their wisdom or experience.
    12) They have strong opinions on a subject and see other points of view as less valid.
    13) They are trying to get your attention or connect with you but lack skills, so they end up whining (e.g., kids, teenagers).
    14) They are testing limits in order to feel more independent (teenagers, young adults).
    15) They are competing with you for status or position, or you are an obstacle to their goal.
    16)  They see themselves as an expert on the topic by virtue of education or experience and they want to share their knowledge with you and be admired.
    17) They are frustrated with you because they don’t feel you have been hearing them or responding to their requests.
    18) They are trying to put their own spin on a situation to make them look good or minimize their bad behavior.
    19) They are setting limits on your disrespectful/inconsiderate behavior.
    20) They want you to understand how your actions are hurting or disadvantaging them.
    21) They are trying to bully or intimidate you so they can feel powerful.
    22) They are defending their own actions by pointing out that you also did some things wrong.
    23) They lack social skills and are delivering well-meant feedback unskillfully.
    24) They want to feel important and respected .
    25) They are covering up hurt feelings with anger.
    26) They are a narcissist and can’t handle your confronting them or not going along with them.
    27) They have a problem they don’t want to deal with (e.g., power abuse) and are trying to get you to back off.
    28) They feel you are acting unfairly or taking advantage.
    29) They have different values and perspectives than you and are judging you.
    30) They are trying to shame or humiliate you, perhaps as revenge or a power play.
The majority of the reasons listed above have to do with the critic’s own agenda or perspective, but some may be the result of your behavior, or of an unskillful attempt to connect with you. When partners or spouses criticize each other, there are often softer feelings underneath, such as feeling hurt, rejected, or not important. It is best to try to understand the critic's agenda before responding so you can tailor your response to best meet the situation.

Thank you .

https://www.psychologytoday.com/

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